(轉貼) Malaysia (also known as Bolehland) by Uncyclopedia

Essentially the penis of Asia which is located to the north of their cousins who live on an even smaller island Singapore, Malaysia (also known as Bolehland) is a young nation of diverse cultures and races such as F1 Formula-1 and Nascar. The timezone of Malaysia is unique because it follows the system of +1/+2 PMT (Predetermined Meeting Time) which is 1 or 2 hours later than PMT. Most foreigners have difficulty adjusting to this new timezone as they tend to show up 1 or 2 hours earlier than the local counterparts. The nation is moving forward with a vision towards becoming a developed nation by the year 2020, 3030, 4040 or whatever catchy number.

Malaysia Economy

Malaysia exports a lot of rubber to countries around the world. All thanks to the hard work of the heroic rubber tappers summoning up courage to face the occasional 'pontianak' or 'momok' frights as well as countless attacks from cobras, Polar Bears and Hamsters.

Another source of income is from pirates. There are usually two types of pirates in Malaysia: "Yarrr ye mateys! Get 'dem DVDs out an sell'em befere those darned police send us and our jolly ship ta' Davy Jones Locker! Arrrr!", or "Avast there! Thar she bee... a fyne ship from Hong Kong laden wit sweet Sony DVD players! Board her and seize tha booty! Start thee Yamaha engines and load thee canons, ya scurvy mongrels! Yarrr!"

Main Malaysian export product is brains which is taken from todays brightest minds of Malaysian youth. Brains are exported to countries such as UK, the US and Australia through institutions called private colleges. This is a serious problem for Bolehland because while this ensures that Malaysia would be free of the 'undeserving immigrant Chinese', it also makes Malaysian graduates stupider in average (because the smarter, job-competent one's have ran away). Efforts have been made to create brain plugs in our rivers, thanks to their stupid social contract signed more than half a century ago.

Main Malaysian import is China-made porn, which is strangely consumed by Malaysian buyers in pasar malams.

7 Wonders of Malaysia

1. The Zakaria (Happy Cock) 'Palace': The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to be able to own a palace.

2. The 'Bocor' Parliament: The unique feature is its ability to ‘leak’ away billions of taxpayers money while the guardians of the nation stood there all wet.

3. The 'Unhaunted' Kuching Prison: The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories and encounters. Reasons No execution was done here before. In fact no prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive. Maybe it can qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.

4. Paya Indah 'Wasted' Wetlands: The nation’s premier eco-tourism park holds the record in the category of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with binoculars.

5. 'Not So' Smart Tunnel: Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does everything except alleviate floods.

6. ‘Disconnected' Cyberjaya: The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no internet connection to its residents.

7. Crooked 'Crooked' Bridge: The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by the most crooked person in the world. Too bad it was abandoned; otherwise it will make it as one of the wonders.

資料來源, Malaysia (also known as Bolehland) by Uncyclopedia